For the Love of God, FINALLY

Tony Temple is startled by fat official standing in his way. Fumbles, but still manages to score the touchdown against Gayhawks.

Mizzou finally wins the Border War against a terrible Kansas football team, 42-17.

I was going to write something here about the emotions that I felt watching my team beat down our hated rival for the first time in four years, but I was still angry over the Kock slapping we took against worst in Big XII Iowa State. It turns out my shunning of Mizzou was unfounded, as Big XII commish Kevin Weiberg and the league's supervisor of officials Walt Anderson have stated that the holding call that eliminated a potential game winning touchdown at the end of the Mizzou/Iowa Sate game was not a hold. The refs screwed up.

So... are you going to go ahead and notch that victory in our favor? Meh... not like it matters, it shouldn't have been that close against the stupid mascot having Cyclones anyway. A game against a team that terrible should not come down to the last play, AND we still had another play only eleven yards away from the goal line, and with this offense, being further away from the goal line to score should be a good thing.

Amazingly enough, though, with all of that Mizzou is 8-4 (should be 9-3, but I'm only bitching is all) and finished second place in an improved Big XII North. No word on which bowl game we'll be accepting the invite from, should be much better than the Independence Bowl.

With all of the shit that I give Pinkel, you have to give him this one thing... he's starting to make us look like a seriously better than mediocre program. Hell... SECOND BOWL GAME IN A ROW!!! zOMG!

Let's see if he can win one without Brad Smith having to take over.

You've Be Noticeded

I have a flat tire, but I'll hopefully get it fixed before the Mizzou/Kansas game this Saturday morning. Yelling at Pinkel on tv is just not the same as yelling at him in person where there's the (very) off chance that he'll hear me.



You know, I like it, but I needs something better than Paint to make a truly awesome Roethlisberger action figure.

I liked him better when he was drinking like a champion and not throwing more interceptions than touchdowns. Also, you can't almost lose to the Browns. They are the shit of the league and need to be knocked off the bottom of your cleats as such. I mean damn.

Tigers Dump Davidson

Yeah, it's AP's article name, but it's too good. Mizzou finally beats Davidson 81-75


Andrew Lovedale helps Darryl Butterfield with his constipation by rubbing his stomach. Butterfield in turn craps on Lovedale's shoe. Mizzou took a dump on Davidson.


Stephon Hannah finds out what it's like to be on the receiving end of a vicious teabag.

Goddamn Gary Pinkel

Stupid Alden gave stupid Pinkel a stupid five year contract extention. Dammit.

What scares me about all this is that he's two wins away from fifth all time on the Mizzou wins list. Fortunantly, he still needs, like, 64 to tie Don Faurot... and I'm sure an angry and boozed up mob of fans will lynch both Alden and Pinkel before that can happen.

I, of course, will be sober like the great General Lee played by Cartman leading my drunken men into battle using booze.



Then we'll march on into Kansas and burn down the campus finishing the job once and for all. That'll teach you to have all them upidy ideas about how slavery is immoral. It trully shall be a glorious day for the Confederacy... erm... Mizzou!

Mizzou Gets Kock Slapped

No sir, that mushroom tattoo won't go away for quite some time as Mizzou loses to inept Iowa State 21-16. Good to see our goal-line offense is still terrible and that are defense still doesn't know how to tackle as Ryan Kock rushed for a career-high 179 yards and two touchdowns. We got destroyed by that Kock.

Yay Mizzou. God this team angers me.


Daniel gets worst rimjob of his life.

So... what the hell happened to this guy?

Do you remember Jeffrey Ferguson? Yeah... me neither.

Well, I remember him as something else, and that would be terrible 6-11 Center for Mizzou in College Hoops 2K5 J. Ferguson who I'd use to score against my roommate last year just because I found it to be funny.

Most people would ask me if he was even with us last year whenever I play using him now... well, quite frankly I had no idea. Hell, I didn't even remember him playing for Mizzou in the first place.

Seems as though he transfered to a Divison II school in Detriot called Wayne State University. Oh, and guess what... he only started six games... for a Division II basketball team. For Christ's sake... he started three games for Mizzou... that's just sad.

Here's a terrific start of an article that has been since removed from the website it was on where the author admires Ferguson's courage by taking the road less traveled by being born in Canada, playing for a Division I basketball team, and then going to D-II Wayne State University.

The hilarious thing is that apparently for the Canadian basketball team for the FISU a year ago, he was fifth in the tournament in scoring and rebounds which is odd considering both Randy Foye and Sheldon Williams were in the tournament. Canadian basketball players... ha... Wait... Steve Nash.

Uh... Yeah.

By the way, this is one of the only Mizzou related pictures of Ferguson I could find.



Poor kid... first he's sick and then he has to deal with Jeffrey Ferguson AND Kevin Young. The worst front court in the history of college basketball and perhaps all of basketball.

I blame the fact that they're foreign just because I can.

Also, I give you the Wayne State Warrior of the Week:



Yes... it really is that hilarious.

The Mask

Yes, this is two Jason Conley posts in a row. I have good reason for it, though.



I have found the black mask that is Jason Conley.

Hanging With Gay Mr. Cooper

This is Jason Conley:



Former Mizzou basketball player and my favorite person to dunk like fucking crazy with in College Hoops 2K5.



Look at him go!

Okay, yeah... basically I'm just posting this because of hilarious pink uniform and the fact that he still dunks like crazy. Oh, and now Jimmy McKinney is in the same league as him. Hopefully they'll play against each other and McKinney will take a fade away jumper that'll miss horribly and then Conley will teabag him while Jimmy is standing straight up.

Bitch, where is my money?

Well... he should have given him his money. Next time The Marshall won't have to be so violent.

Stefhon Hannah Doesn't Tea Bag Women... He Potato Sacks Them

The Basketball Tigers start off their first of potentially many rebuilding years under Mike Anderson 2-0 by defeating Army in the second round of the John Thompson Foundation Classic 67 to 58.

I have continued on with my tradition of not going to Mizzou basketball games on the grounds that they I don't feel like it. This team has done nothing to cause reason for excitement except for all the new players and the new coach... which really isn't all that exciting especially when you consider the five new coaches in the Big XII alone (Greg McDermott - Iowa State, Bob Huggins - Kansas State, Mike Anderson - Missouri, Jeff Capel - Oklahoma, Sean Sutton - Oklahoma State).

I really like Mike Anderson as a coach. I enjoy the high tempo of his play style, but I just can't help but notice how panicked his players look while trying to run it. Hopefully they'll calm down before we play games that actually matter, but more than likely we'll finish scrapping the surface of mediocrity of the Big XII... which is better than last year. Which really doesn't say much.

Also, it seriously looks like Army's Cleveland Richard is scared to death of Hannah's junk... or maybe that's what I want it to look like because it's more hilarious that way.

mmm... yes.

The Gold Standard of Football Injuires

One of my favorite things to do online is show people horrific sports injuries just to see their reaction. The glory that is YouTube makes all of this possible, so I thought I'd share a few of my favorites,i.e. most gruesome, with you. Enjoy!

This is it my friends, this is the injury that the majority of football pundits believe is the most disturbing hit in the all of football. This is Lawrence Taylor snapping the tibia and fibula of Joe Theismann's right leg.

I believe this goes without saying, but for those who have weak stomachs better not fucking watch this. I will not be held responsible for you vomiting. That's just mean.



snap

Thank God that you can't hear Theismann's bones snap... that would have been even more gruesome.

This all took place in 1985 during a Monday Night Football game between the New York Giants and the Washington Redskins. In a called flea-flicker that did not fool the Giants' defense whatsoever, NFL Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor lunged at Theismann, grabbed him by the shoulder pads, pulled him down, and landed with all of his body weight on Theismann's right leg. Snap, snap. There goes a career.

Although he looks to be writing about in pain, he apparently felt none of it.

"It was at that point, I also found out what a magnificent machine the human body is," Theismann said. "Almost immediately, from the knee down, all the feeling was gone in my right leg. The endorphins had kicked in, and I was not in pain."*

Both Theismann and Taylor have refused to view the footage of the hit, although word is that after it occured, Taylor told Theismann that he was lucky that he hadn't broken both of his legs.

But of course, that's just the type of guy Taylor was/is/always will be. I mean, come on, he's a well known coke-head who's in the Hall of Fame. Take THAT Michael Irvin.

One must wonder, though... if Theismann had played a few more years maybe he would be considered a legandary quarterback for more than just getting his lag snapped in half and winning one Super Bowl. Maybe he would be in the NFL Hall of Fame and wouldn't be working for ESPN where we have to suffer through his really really dumb comments on a regular basis.

Nothing is really different for Lawerence Taylor. He finished that day just like he finished any other day... coked out while banging a prostitute.

Lawerence Taylor, member of the NFL Hall of Fame.



*Shapiro, Leonard (Nov. 18, 2005). "The Hit That Changed a Career". , p. E01.

That is a Serious Leg Injury for Willis McGahee.

One of my favorite things to do online is show people horrific sports injuries just to see their reaction. The glory that is YouTube makes all of this possible, so I thought I'd share a few of my favorites,i.e. most gruesome, with you. Enjoy!

First up, one Willis McGahee. This gloriously disgusting knee injury occurred during the 2002-03 Fiesta Bowl for the BCS National Championship as McGahee's Miami Hurricanes looked to repeat by defeating the Ohio State Buckeyes. They just might have done it, too, had it not been for this horrific injury to McGahee during the fourth quarter.


Yep

The Hurricanes ended up losing to the Buckeyes in double overtime, but one must wonder if fortune would have smiled Miami's way had Will Allen gone a little lower or a little higher on that hit.

Regardless of the outcome of the game, McGahee was incredibly lucky and only suffered an ACL tear. He was drafted by the Buffalo Bills in the first round of the 2003 draft and has the potential to be one of the premier running backs in the league.

...

That is, of course, if he didn't play for Buffalo.

The "yep" at the end of the video always cracks me up something fierce.

Kalen Grimes displays excellent fundamentals.

Evidence that you don't even have to be able to see to beat up on Lithuania. 94-40

Kalen Grimes is too easily distracted by chicken sangwiches to care about seeing the basket anyway. Oh, and stealing credit card information to purchase more chicken sangwiches.

I can't wait for Mike Anderson to bench him for being slow and terrible at basketball.

I shouldn't be so mean, I mean... he's better than Kevin Young, who by the way now plays for the Turkish Kepez Belediyesi team.

Good god he is terrible at basketball... how exactly is he doing it for a living again? I wonder if he's even able to pronounce the city in which he plays.