Wednesday, April 25, 2007

What the fuck happened?

None of your business, that's what.

Things I have missed since I started doing none of your business:

-Mizzou basketball: still sucks.

-Mizzou football: no defense left.

-Cardinals: gets swept by Mets, Pirates, and Giants.

-Pat Tillman: still dead.

-Barry Bonds: still a steroid injected giant douche.

-A-Rod: goddamn

-Antoine Walker: buys suits out of Michael Irvin's garage

-Gilbert Arenas: injured.

-NBA playoffs: made seven million times less interesting (see above)

-Steve Nash: black

-Ray Allen: white

-Rasheed Wallace: high

-Baron Davis: greatest beard ever.

-Detroit Lions: prepared to draft Dwayne Jarrett.

-Brady Quinn: gay.

-Eli Manning: kicked out Manning family in favor of Quinn. Archie has Eli's name legally changed to Eli Douchecockbag.

-Payton Manning: trying to teach Brady Quinn-Manning how to properly suck on his teat. Suffers from major chaffing, forced to sit out the 2007-2008 season.

-Tom Brady: knocks up fifteen supermodels and some chick with some ruuude titties who works at Starbucks.

-Jason Kidd: wears the dress.

-Manny Ramirez: has no idea what's going on ever.

-Houston Rockets: eventual NBA champions. Believe it.

-Mike Tomlin: gangsta.

-Bruce Bowen:

I'm bored.

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