What the fuck happened?

None of your business, that's what.

Things I have missed since I started doing none of your business:

-Mizzou basketball: still sucks.

-Mizzou football: no defense left.

-Cardinals: gets swept by Mets, Pirates, and Giants.

-Pat Tillman: still dead.

-Barry Bonds: still a steroid injected giant douche.

-A-Rod: goddamn

-Antoine Walker: buys suits out of Michael Irvin's garage

-Gilbert Arenas: injured.

-NBA playoffs: made seven million times less interesting (see above)

-Steve Nash: black

-Ray Allen: white

-Rasheed Wallace: high

-Baron Davis: greatest beard ever.

-Detroit Lions: prepared to draft Dwayne Jarrett.

-Brady Quinn: gay.

-Eli Manning: kicked out Manning family in favor of Quinn. Archie has Eli's name legally changed to Eli Douchecockbag.

-Payton Manning: trying to teach Brady Quinn-Manning how to properly suck on his teat. Suffers from major chaffing, forced to sit out the 2007-2008 season.

-Tom Brady: knocks up fifteen supermodels and some chick with some ruuude titties who works at Starbucks.

-Jason Kidd: wears the dress.

-Manny Ramirez: has no idea what's going on ever.

-Houston Rockets: eventual NBA champions. Believe it.

-Mike Tomlin: gangsta.

-Bruce Bowen:

I'm bored.

Gotta Love Getting $80 Worth of Tickets for Free

Because of the incredibly lacking drawing power of spending over five-hundred bucks to go to the Sun Bowl, Mizzou's Athletic Department decided to give away two tickets to any student so they could avoid losing a crap load of money... which makes sense somehow.



Those aren't it... but they'll do.

I could just sell the tickets, but I feel the need to get the hell out of Missouri come December 28th and have a damn good time probably getting beat down by Oregon State. I will make a glorious sign, though. So the trip will be worth it.

Also, Mizzou Basketball finally lost a game to Purdue... which actually has a pretty good team, so maybe we actually have a tournament bound team... wouldn't that be scary?

I purchased a Brad(ly) Smith jersey at the Mizzou Bookstore today for $30.00, I believe it was a good purchase.

Last Year We Beat the Cocks, This Year We'll Lick the Beavers!

(9-4)

(8-4)

Yes yes, it's the Brut Sun Bowl (which is a really dumb sponsership) taking place in El Paso, Texas on December 29th. Yes, Mizzou is taking on Oregon State. The same team that took down the team that just ALMOST played for the national championship in USC. By the way, this is the same bowl that UCLA returned two onside kicks for touchdowns last year.

The first Sun bowl took place in 1936 between New Mexico State and the hilariously named Hardin-Simmons University which now is a Division III school... it ended in a tie. The next year, Hardin-Simmons (*giggle*) destroyed UTEP 34-6. So yeah, great history there are something.

We're favored to lose, so yay. I'm still hopeful for some reason and I hope to go.

First the Cocks in the Independence Bowl, now the Beavers in the Sun Bowl. It's pretty crazy the two teams with the most sexual names in Division 1-A College Football are the two teams we're playing back to back in bowl games. We might as well play in the Trojan Condom Giant Penis Bowl against the Cleveland A&M Muff Divers.

Basketball Update or Something...

Since defeating Davidson, Mizzou Basketball has continued on with their disturbing winning ways defeating four straight teams. Most impressive of all their victories was a twenty-two point win over almost ranked Arkansas. Honestly, though, I really don't think it's that big of a deal considering that the terrible team that we had last year almost beat the same Arkansas team in Arkansas... and this game was in Columbia.

So yeah... here are some pictures that I find humorous of the past few games because I've been lazy and I feel like continuing to be lazy.


Darryl Butterfield pimp slaps a bitch.


Leo Lyons: "Don't mind me, man... just grabbing some nuts."


Holy albino kid, Batman! Look at the look on Vaidotas Volkus' face. You see, in Lithuania, it is believed that you'll catch the goofy pale disease by touching an albino.


Coppin State's Darryl Roberts really looks like he likes what he sees WAY too much. Be careful Stefhon, he might be looking to grab him some nuts.

Okay, that's good enought for now. Mizzou's next game Saturday at Purdue. First road game of the year for the Basketball Tigers and of course it's against a Big Ten team... and they've had good wins against Oklahoma and potential bracket buster teams DePaul and Virginia. So yeah, basically, we win this game and I'll think we might have something here.

You know what the scariest thing about all of this is? Kalen Grimes has been our best player and Matt Lawrence is our leading scorer.

*shudder*

For the Love of God, FINALLY

Tony Temple is startled by fat official standing in his way. Fumbles, but still manages to score the touchdown against Gayhawks.

Mizzou finally wins the Border War against a terrible Kansas football team, 42-17.

I was going to write something here about the emotions that I felt watching my team beat down our hated rival for the first time in four years, but I was still angry over the Kock slapping we took against worst in Big XII Iowa State. It turns out my shunning of Mizzou was unfounded, as Big XII commish Kevin Weiberg and the league's supervisor of officials Walt Anderson have stated that the holding call that eliminated a potential game winning touchdown at the end of the Mizzou/Iowa Sate game was not a hold. The refs screwed up.

So... are you going to go ahead and notch that victory in our favor? Meh... not like it matters, it shouldn't have been that close against the stupid mascot having Cyclones anyway. A game against a team that terrible should not come down to the last play, AND we still had another play only eleven yards away from the goal line, and with this offense, being further away from the goal line to score should be a good thing.

Amazingly enough, though, with all of that Mizzou is 8-4 (should be 9-3, but I'm only bitching is all) and finished second place in an improved Big XII North. No word on which bowl game we'll be accepting the invite from, should be much better than the Independence Bowl.

With all of the shit that I give Pinkel, you have to give him this one thing... he's starting to make us look like a seriously better than mediocre program. Hell... SECOND BOWL GAME IN A ROW!!! zOMG!

Let's see if he can win one without Brad Smith having to take over.

You've Be Noticeded

I have a flat tire, but I'll hopefully get it fixed before the Mizzou/Kansas game this Saturday morning. Yelling at Pinkel on tv is just not the same as yelling at him in person where there's the (very) off chance that he'll hear me.



You know, I like it, but I needs something better than Paint to make a truly awesome Roethlisberger action figure.

I liked him better when he was drinking like a champion and not throwing more interceptions than touchdowns. Also, you can't almost lose to the Browns. They are the shit of the league and need to be knocked off the bottom of your cleats as such. I mean damn.

Tigers Dump Davidson

Yeah, it's AP's article name, but it's too good. Mizzou finally beats Davidson 81-75


Andrew Lovedale helps Darryl Butterfield with his constipation by rubbing his stomach. Butterfield in turn craps on Lovedale's shoe. Mizzou took a dump on Davidson.


Stephon Hannah finds out what it's like to be on the receiving end of a vicious teabag.

Goddamn Gary Pinkel

Stupid Alden gave stupid Pinkel a stupid five year contract extention. Dammit.

What scares me about all this is that he's two wins away from fifth all time on the Mizzou wins list. Fortunantly, he still needs, like, 64 to tie Don Faurot... and I'm sure an angry and boozed up mob of fans will lynch both Alden and Pinkel before that can happen.

I, of course, will be sober like the great General Lee played by Cartman leading my drunken men into battle using booze.



Then we'll march on into Kansas and burn down the campus finishing the job once and for all. That'll teach you to have all them upidy ideas about how slavery is immoral. It trully shall be a glorious day for the Confederacy... erm... Mizzou!

Mizzou Gets Kock Slapped

No sir, that mushroom tattoo won't go away for quite some time as Mizzou loses to inept Iowa State 21-16. Good to see our goal-line offense is still terrible and that are defense still doesn't know how to tackle as Ryan Kock rushed for a career-high 179 yards and two touchdowns. We got destroyed by that Kock.

Yay Mizzou. God this team angers me.


Daniel gets worst rimjob of his life.